Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Monday, November 5, 2007

good names for kitteh

steven meowlkmus
tony romew
meowtha graham
john meowdden
cat power
peyton meowing
jesus & mewy chain (you need two cats for this one to work out)
john meowcain
damon meowlbarn
rudy mewliani
flying meowkins
kittney spears
mewssolini
meowchael douglas
randy meows
steve shasta semew-professional wakeboarder
aunt jemewmew
karl lagerfeld

Friday, November 2, 2007

that's right



TEHY HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE SO DELICIOUS

Late update:



Rebuttal:

next year's halloween costume

THE FUTURE OF MY MOUTH IS HERE!



i'm going to drink the shit out of this hot sauce. now, i know, it is tabasco. now, you are probably saying, "adam schefter, you are a hot sauce virgin if you think tabasco is even worth throwing in the cat's litter box, much less consuming. i prefer alien anal-probe xtra terrestrial hot sauce or some other variety that you gotta buy only online or in one of those weird hot sauce emporiums that i hear tales of existing." you are saying this because you are a homosexual fag. you think i don't have hot sauce!? i have like ten bottles of hot sauce in my house. sriachachacha, frank's, whatever. i MAKE my own hot sauce.

but this jalapeno stuff is like my new boyfriend, guys. it's not too spicy, so your pussy friends can partake! it tastes like the color green! it's delicious, and i recommend you purchase some today.


^^ this is the official schef hot sauce seal of approval

it all makes sense. it all finally makes fucking sense.



IM IN UR WASTELAND BURYING UR DEAD

april hates u, makes lilacs, u no can has. (1)
april in ur memoriez, making ur desire.
spring rain in ur dull rootzes.

earth in ur winter, covered in snow
can has potato. PO-TA-TO.
INVISIBLE SUMMER! RAININGZES!
im in ur hofgarden, drinking ur coffeez.

at archduke’s haus, invisible sled!
im in ur moutainz, holding on tight.
no can has cheezburger.
oral sex metaphors in ur poem.