Thursday, July 15, 2010

I GOTA CAT



I ran out of cat food though, but he seems to liike this better anyway! His name is Purrman Munson. I figure once I get sick of him, I'll cook him.

Do u remember the time (when we fell in love!)

I logged in this morninga fter a long disclourse from the internet - I have been so busy being the most improtant man on ESPN and on Twitter. You can follow men here: @adamschefter. That is where I put my Brett Favre alerts!

Anyway I acthually logged in because I thought it would be importyant to update everyone on some very important news, more important than me being on ESPN (because it is terrible, do you know how much of a fancy boy LeBron is? Ugh. And they don't even have free donuts, and sometimes expect me to go to CONNECTICUT which is just shit, to be totally fair). Do you remember our SASSIES BOY IN AMERICA contest? We might hold another one because it gets you places: our winner, Max, is now a prominent intellectual on the internet! Please read his work about devils in our society here: http://gawker.com/5587507/horned-man-attempts-to-murder-landlord-with-minivan. And comment on it to make him prouder and more confiendet!

Anywahy that is it, I hope you are all doing well and watching ESPN to see me! Except don't turn it on whn Around the Horn is on - that is the worst thing I've ever seen at all, it is even stupiderr if you witness them doing it in person.

HELLO, LONG TIME NO SEE!


I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!


Friday, March 27, 2009

we are real in the cosmos and we feel so cosmic tonight

here is a picture of my friend and most favorited actor, nicolas cage or as i like to call him "nicolage", in a new movie in which he is playing a high school goth kid who sometimes fucks a fat ren faire girl. it's called "the hobo matrix". lookin forward to it!!!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

hobo shanties here i come

hello m yloyal fans -- i apologize for not updating more but with the kid, and the job, it's been a hard time. well not anymore! it is true. time magazines former man of the year is no longer with teh nfl networks. $1 billionz from directv and they can't spare a lousy $5 mil for moi!!! FUK THIS. and then i find out that mnf is re-upping kornheisers contract today! knorheiser! that dude is the fucking worst! i once, no shit, punched him square in a balls and still he wouldn'tshut the fuck up about tennis metaphors, or maybe it was about cary tennis, or tennis shoes. who knows, i just know it sure as shit had nothing to do with my question, "what do you think the bears are going to do this season eh?"

brb i need more bourbons. gaah! maybe i'll become a novelist, i heard there is a competition in november every year called nannerpuss. if that asshole jason elam can write multiple novles as he points out to me ALL THE TIME that he is a published gentlmen of letters, anyway if he can do it i can be the next michael crichton.

brb!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

holy crap!

ok so i met this dude barry at a party and he seemed like an ok type of guy, we had a good time together, he recognized me from time magazine and told me about how he was also on the time magazine but was not man of the year. so i gave him my email. i figured, he was on magazines, i am on magazines, we're pretty much bros, we both enjoy jello shots, it seems were a good match. he was all, i'd like you to also meet my friend joe, you guys would be friends, can i include him on emails too? like we will have an email club! so i'm always excited for email clubs! i say sure thing.

lo9ok at my fucking inbox!!!!



I HAVE A WIFE AND A KID NOW!!!! JESUS GUYS TRY TO BE COOL ALREADY!

Friday, April 18, 2008

i am distrubed and appaleld by this

daily mail hase a v important news story today about the state of b ritain's young people that i find upsetting. i have called a taxi many times in london and have never received a cabnet. why is this? because i speak in the queen's english (sometims with a kentucky accent for the fun of it, and to meet ladies :D). i do not think she should receive an apology or a refund and besides she has a pretty cabnet so what is the harm done?

good names for kitteh: update

anderson cougar

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

rectal administration of liquid form

DOSE : 2.5 mg rectal 5-MeO-AMT (liquid)
smoked Cannabis
BODY WEIGHT : 200 lb

Timing and shit...

T+ 0:00 - 2.5mg 5-meo-amt administered rectally
T+ 0:10 - Gastrointestinal disturbances hit, drugs is expelled from body
T+ 0:15 - Nausea present, pupils size of pinpricks
T+ 0:20 - Few hits of high grade marijuana smoked to ease nausea, and worked like a charm
T+ 0:30 - Nice mental clarity effects noticed, mild visualizations present with ability to increase intensity of if focused on
T+ 0:40 - Seem to have hit the plateau.

I had recently purchased 300 mg of 5-meo-amt powder from an online retailer, and as soon as the package came in the mail, I was eager to try it. The substance came in a tiny, almost beaker-ish 'bottle' of you will, about an inch tall and a circumference of about 1 cm. It was marked with numerous poison warnings and the like, and ironically, the word 'poison' was actually misspelled in one of them. Go figure.

The bottle was placed inside an envelope, placed inside a fed ex bag, placed inside another bag and another and so on about 4 times. I felt already as if I was in one of those 'cartoon' experiences where someone receives a package inside of a package inside of a package just to get something tiny.

I toyed around with the substance for a few days in powder form, and in doing so accidentally ingested an estimated 15 mg. Needless to say, I went pretty much insane over that one, so in the spirit of being careful, I decided to use the water-dosing method.

I took the 300 mg of powder and mixed it with 60 ml of water, to give it a potency of 5mg/ml. I figured this dose was about right to be considered one 'hit.' Also, taking into the account the 25 mg or so I had already taken of the substance, I was giving myself nice 'padding' in case of an accidental overdose or some other unexpected dose-dependant emergency.

After a few days, I wanted to try to find a quicker way of ingestion than oral or insufflated, being as each takes roughly three hours to kick in. I decided I would try an experiment; given that our colon is the last organ in our digestive system and therefore absorbs things rather quickly, would it absorb a drug such as this? If so, how quickly? Would the side effects be lessened to any extent? I decided to find out.

So, as gross as it may sound to some, I took 1/2 a ml of the substance, and using a 'dropper,' administered the 5-meo-amt rectally. I didn't feel much at first; I simply felt like I needed to use the restroom, but knew I couldn't so that the substance could be properly absorbed.

When you feel this way, it's amazing how slowly time goes by. By 10 minutes I could already feel the drug coming on with its alteration of the digestive system. As anyone who's used this before knows, 5-meo-amt is known to cause nausea and diarrhea as well as other gastric disturbances. This time seemed to be no exception.



With that, I decided to empty myself of the substance and whatever followed it, and in the process of doing so, noticed the drug coming on quite intensely. The wallpaper in my bathroom started to come alive, and it felt as though I was surrounded by the ocean.

I started feeling quite nauseated, so I layed down on the bathroom floor for a while to feel better. I stared at the ceiling and it began shrinking and expanding in different places, and the walls seemed to be dancing to the beat of an unknown drum. I felt as though I was deep underwater, but once again, in one of those cartoony ways. Underwater was a fucking happening place to be.

After fighting off the nausea with a few hits of some high grade marijuana, I felt very clear headed and definitely in a trippy kind of mood. Nothing incredibly intense, but very pleasurable nonetheless. Visuals are, at this dosage, slightly there, but if you want to see them you can enhance them if they are focused on.



All in all I am very surprised at how efficient this 'odd' method of ingestion seems to be. Instead of taking upwards of 3 hours via the oral route, the rectal route provided a nice trippy state by the half hour mark. And to think, I only took half a hit, and only held it in for 10 minutes or so...

I personally would recommend extreme caution with this dosing method. You will be surprised how quickly the drug starts to overtake you, and even if your dosage is accurate, there is as yet unknown to me any way of knowing how quickly your colon absorbs the 5-meo-amt, or whether or not you have completely absorbed the dosage that you have taken before expelling it. I wonder what might have happened with me if I had held my dosage for the first half hour... I could have been in store for some fairly intense tripping. If you decide to try this method, I would advise you to be extremely careful, and if things start getting out of hand, flush the drug out of your system immediately! Better safe than sorry!

Happy travels!

my thoughts about the season

i have been working on my thoughts of the season for a long time to put in my upcoming book, "thoughts about the season by adam schefter", which is why i have had no time for updating this internets website for the readers and the people (this is probably why i am not even listed in the time magazine most influential persons poll ;_;) so i'd like to give you, the reader a preview now.


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 18 AND 1 MORE LIKE 18 AND FUK U!!! hahaha bardy man what can u do about the things. at least you didn't have to win and have fellatio relations with bill simmons.

BTW S IMMONS U B EEN HIDING FROM ME??? YOU KNOW OUR BET. I GET TO "JARED LETO IN FIGHT CLUB" YR ASS. STOP FUCKIN ROUND AND COME OVER. I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS FOR YEARS AND YEARS.

a+++++++++++++ maybe the broncos will wiin inspriration from this story of triumphs?

THE COMBINGINGS OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS!!1111111



hai bros hows it been making :D

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Monday, November 5, 2007

good names for kitteh

steven meowlkmus
tony romew
meowtha graham
john meowdden
cat power
peyton meowing
jesus & mewy chain (you need two cats for this one to work out)
john meowcain
damon meowlbarn
rudy mewliani
flying meowkins
kittney spears
mewssolini
meowchael douglas
randy meows
steve shasta semew-professional wakeboarder
aunt jemewmew
karl lagerfeld

Friday, November 2, 2007

that's right



TEHY HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE SO DELICIOUS

Late update:



Rebuttal: