H O U S H M A N Z A D E H !!!!!!!1 HOUSHMANZADEH!

combingings of my two favourite things, ghost rider and teh boss - thx, shefs

hey blackheart is yr daddy home
does he treat you right, do you have a soul
my skull's on fire
ohhhh i'm ghost rider

TONY DUNGEE IS THE MAHATAMA GHANDI OF NFL COACHING!!1

why did tampa bay fire the mahatama ghandi of coaches ;_;

i just got this in my inbox, titled "fair"

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"

She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA." The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican party."

ENEMY: G-D, THE DECEIVER

ONLY LOVE & BLOOD DIAMONDS SAILING COSMIC SCHEFTER SAFELY THROUGH TRANSENDENTAL MINDSCAPES

COSMIC SCHEFTER DESTROYER OF ALL

PACMANS!!!!1!

let me tell you about myself

9th grade:
My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Fresca.

Me: It's allright.
Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it?

I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold.

Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits?

So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy.

She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vajay with Fresca. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vadge's liquid retention volume.

Girl: YOU LIKE FRESCA?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME!

I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing.

Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!

I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Fresca shot out of her vadge and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway.

APOCALYPSE: SOON

Girls in general are shallow. I hate almost all girls. I'd probably have a great job right now (not bored out my wits visiting wizardishungry every other hour) if I hadn't been practically in tears with my mom telling her I WOULD NOT go to college. Not that she even prompted me to look at college applications and scholarships. I don't blame her, though. I blame the bitches and assholes who teased me from second grade through twelfth grade, making my life a living hell because I was younger than them (started K at age 4), I made good grades without even trying, and I couldn't afford brand name clothes.



We need an apocalypse so the human race can start over (again). Hopefully this time jealous rulers and secretive scholars won't hide the records of our civilization so that future generations can learn from our mistakes. So, as the Tool song says, I'm praying...except I'm praying for something a bit more catastrophic. Anyone heard of the slumbering volcano under Yellowstone Park? The lake has actually MOVED because of the building pressure. There are trees underwater now that were far from the lake's edge in the early 1900s. It's due to erupt anytime now, and the last time it did the ash suffocated animals as far away as Kentucky (I love the Science Channel). I won't regret leaving this world - I look forward to being born again under simpler conditions. The struggle for survival builds character, which is something almost no one I know possesses. Since I live on the other side of the Appalachians, in this wonderful deciduous forest environment (OK, so the bugs suck, but otherwise it's all good), there's a good chance we can start anew during my generation.



2012, according to the Mayans. We'll see. I can only hope the rest of the world also suffers from catastrophe. We have to start over...I learned yesterday that there's a strong possibility that the AIDS virus got its start through the polio vaccine. It's a conspiracy theory, to be sure, but highly believable. Just another example of our government doing us more harm than good.

SPACE BEER III BETA

SPACE BEER II

for exercise i run around with mikey shanahans in my hip pocket. when i take him out he is full sized. when i put him in my pocket he does not shrink, yet still he fits. and he stays heavy which is good for the workout. and always he stays intense which is good for our relationship.

OPEN THREAD: FUCKED UP BOOGERS, WORTH IT OR NOT WORTH IT?

discuss.

THE SCHEF'S PROFILES IN COURAGE VOL 1

Sometimes in order to put sports in perspective even The Schef has to step back and take a look at this young man who is making such a difference. To me he is up there w/the Baby Eistien lady and Mutumbo, but obv not w/the subway guy cause that guy is the best ever; his name is Jared Fogels.


Corey Chapman (Crackers)
Project Leader, Webmaster, XIMinc CEO, Waving the Magic Wand
Hails from Rock Hill, South Carolina, United States
View YaBB Profile
www.coreychapman.com
THE YaBB TEAM

Occupation: Quality Manager, Ring Container Technologies
Hobbies: Web development, rollerblading, collecting random things, doing new and adventurous things

Quote: If you have been lied to for two years you have an associated degree in wisdom. If you have been lied to for four years you have a bachelors degree in applied stupidity. -- rmartin313@excite.com

Biography: Corey has been using the Internet since around 1994 and has experience in web development since 1997. He holds a degree in Engineering Management from the University of Missouri - Rolla and a minor in Computer Science. He started out as a YaBB user, became a YaBB developer, and not much later became lead of the project.

Mosh Pit Meets Sandbox

Can we please get over the hipster parent moment? Can we please see the end of those Park Slope alternative Stepford Moms in their black-on-black maternity tunics who turn their babies into fashion-forward, anticorporate indie-infants in order to stay one step ahead of the cool police?

Can we stop hearing about downtown parents who dress their babies in black skull slippers, Punky Monkey T-shirts and camo toddler ponchos until the little ones end up looking like sad-parody club clones of mom and dad? Can we finally stop reading about the musical Antoinettes who would get the vapors if their tykes were caught listening to Disney tunes, and who instead force-feed Brian Eno, Radiohead and Sufjan Stevens into their little babies’ iPods?

I mean, don’t today’s much-discussed hipster parents notice that their claims to rebellious individuality are undercut by the fact that they are fascistically turning their children into miniature reproductions of their hipper-than-thou selves? Don’t they observe that with their inevitable hummus snacks, their pastel-free wardrobes, their unearned sense of superiority and their abusively pretentious children’s names like Anouschka and Elijah, they are displaying a degree of conformity that makes your average suburban cul-de-sac look like Renaissance Florence?

Enough already. The hipster parent trend has been going on too long and it’s got to stop. It’s been nearly three years since reporters for sociologically attuned publications like The New York Observer began noticing oversophisticated infants in “Anarchy in the Pre-K” shirts. Since then, the trend has exhausted its life cycle.

A witty essay by Adam Sternbergh announced the phenomenon in an April 2006 New York magazine. Sternbergh described 40-year-old men and women with $200 bedhead haircuts and $600 messenger bags, who “look, talk, act and dress like people who are 22 years old,” and dress their infants as if they’re 16. He called these pseudo-adults “Grups,” observing that they smashed any remaining semblance of a generation gap.

He noticed that the music of the parental generation sounds exactly like the music of the kids’ generation. They have the same rock star fashion sense, and share the same taste for distressed denim. He found a music video director, Adam Levite, who had a guitar collection propped up in his TriBeCa loft, and then similar miniature versions of the same guitars for his 6-year-old son, Asa.

Then came the hipster parents’ own online magazine, Babble.com.

Babble is a normal parental advice magazine submerged under geological layers of attitudinizing. There are articles about products from the alternative industrial complex (early ’60s retro baby food organizers). There’s a blog from a rock star mom (it’s lonely on the road). There’s a column by L.A.’s Rebecca Woolf, a sort of Silver Lake Erma Bombeck. (“Who says becoming a mom means succumbing to laser tattoo removal and moving to the suburbs?”)

On top of that there’s been a flourishing of the movement’s official gathering site — the message board complex UrbanBaby.com. Here, highly educated parents trade tips about the toxic dangers of aluminum foil. Stay-at-home Martyr Mommies trade gibes with their working mom frenemies. High-achieving types try to restrain their judgmental, perfectionist tendencies with self-mockery: “I horrified myself the other day when I found myself being surprised that Angelina [Jolie] would let Zahara eat Ms. Vickie’s chips. Shoot me before I turn into a sanctimommy!”

Finally, in a sign that the hip parenting thing has jumped the shark, the movement got its own book, the indescribably dull “Alternadad,” about a self-described whiny narcissist who tries not to let his son’s birth get in the way of his rock festival lifestyle. Surely a trend has hit absurdity when you have a book in which the most memorable moment comes when the writer succumbs to the corporate temptations of Toys “R” Us.

Let me be clear: I’m not against the indie/alternative lifestyle. There is nothing more reassuringly traditionalist than the counterculture. For 30 years, the music, the fashions, the poses and the urban weeklies have all been the same. Everything in this society changes except nonconformity.

What I object to is people who make their children ludicrous. Innocent infants should not be compelled to sport “My Mom’s Blog Is Better Than Your Mom’s Blog” infant wear. They should not be turned into deceptive edginess badges by parents who refuse to face that their days of chaotic, unscheduled moshing are over.

For God’s sake, let’s respect the dignity of youth.

being MAN OF THE YEAR is really getting me a lot of attention!!

I am now a famous person for the scientific community as well.

I would like to say thanks you much dear PhDs for your efforts to find the beer in space which i think is our most important challenge awaiting us today.

I will look forward to receiving more inquiries hopefully i can spread the good word about the space beer.

FUCK YA FACE

Hi! I'm Spliffhead I like to lie on the floor
Hello, I'm Girlie
I'm not and I'm cynical
Hi! I'm Ketamine Kettison
Hi! I'm Julia and I'm Schoolie
I'm Smith
Hi! I'm Smartass at the computer
Hi! I'm Skunklad

U GONNA GET RAPED

PACMANS!!1

call nelly its raining $81,000 dollars

weirdness is what is all around