COLOSSUS THE FORBIN PROJECT

Kokomo is basically the worst song ever written. It should be removed from the Beach Boys' canon and added as a bonus track on some U2 or Radiohead or Coldplay record. Every time Kokomo is played, a wormhole opens between this world and a dimension of unfettered lameness, a place so putrid and pathetically mediocre in every way that it makes Jay Leno sound like Lenny Bruce and the diced onions on a McDonald's burger taste like scotch bonnets. Kokomo is the mind killer. Kokomo is the little death that brings total obliteration. The Hustle by Van McCoy has more sack than fucking Kokomo.