wau wau wau

there is this raging fight going on outside my house right now between basically the entirety of some party that was in an apt next door. mariucci reports that they seemed to be having a fun time earlier but shit has gone south. when i went by, this guy was outside near a car with a girl kissing her, then suddenly this other girl shows up and snaps a picture of them. i'm like, ok, goofing off, whatev, and then the dude just goes BATSHIT INSANE on the girl with the camera and they all start screaming at each other and the kissing girl starts crying. at one point the camera girl actually said, "IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU GUYS ARE LOVERS" and the dude replies "OH GOD OH GOD DON'T EVEN SAY THINGS LIKE THAT. YOU'RE A LADY. DON'T USE WORDS LIKE THAT. WHY CAN'T YOU BE A LADY SOMETIMES?" wtf wtf! now it seems the whole party is involved and it's just devolved into people screaming fuck you and crying and throwing shit and smoking.

in response to a reader's e-mail (you know who you are lol), some advice...

I went through the same thing when i was at school except i started martial arts at the age of 4 but hated to fight. I got picked on everyday because i was chunky until i just couldnt take it anymore. I agree you should try and find a peaceful way out but if you cant (and sometimes you cant) fight him dirty! Dont let him land the first punch, use the element of surprise and hit him first, kick through his knee. If that fails atack vital areas liek eyes, ears, throat and groin. No boxer no matter how tough they are can handle you sticking your finger in his eye or tearing off his ear! The last thing a buly thinks you will do is hit him first. Dont rely on technique in this situation, he already trains and even if you start now he already has more experience, if you rely on technique his might be better so rely on your instinct. If you cant avoid it, hurt him so he wets his pants for the rest of his life when he thinks of you! Give him one from me too! haha