ladies and gentlemen, i give you...JOHNNY WONG!

this animal is a cross between a cat and a wizened kung fu master. where do i buy a thing like this??! i'm fuckin OBSESSED bros.



Kung Fu do what you do to me
I haven't been the same since my teenage lobotomy
Full on, I moved to Hong Kong
With Bruce Lee's brother and Johnny Wong

I think it's strange
He's friends with Fu Manchu
And he thinks he knows you
Uh uh uh uh uh oh
Oh Daniel San made in Taiwan
Come on Jackie Chan
Uh uh uh uh uh oh

Last night Jackie Chan came around
I played pool with him and we hung out
Mr. Miagi and the X-men
Called in for a while as well

I think it's strange
He's friends with Fu Manchu
And he thinks he knows you
Uh uh uh uh uh oh
Oh Daniel San made in Taiwan
Come on Jackie Chan
Uh uh uh uh uh oh

Kung Fu do what you do to me
I can't live without my Kung Fu movies
'Shanghai Killers' and 'Deadly Road'
My life was ruined when the Green Dragon closed

Oh I think it's strange
He's friends with Fu Manchu
And he thinks he knows you
Uh uh uh uh uh oh
Oh Daniel San made in Taiwan
Come on Jackie Chan
Uh uh uh uh uh oh

I think it's strange
He's friends with Fu Manchu
And he's in love with you
Uh uh uh uh uh oh
Oh Daniel San made in Taiwan
Come on Jackie Chan
Uh uh uh uh uh oh

someone in this room...IS A MURDERER!!!

lol why the hell are these cats so shocked. fuck 'em!!!

kids say the darndest things!

The baby kitten watch TV with me. And baby kitten go in a pumpkin and bust 'em up. The baby kitten play with me. And then when I lay down he step on my face. The baby kitten ride with me on the roller coaster and I cover him with the blankets; he was dying but he's still alive.

Fw: [SoftCoatedWheatens] OT: DOGS and CATS FUNNY

The Dog

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat-

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although
I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must
eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe. For now...

dilemmas :\

I'm a 46-year-old unmarried Caucasian man. I live alone with my three cats, whom I love dearly. My friends always pick on me because I love cats but haven't managed to find a person who shares this love with me. Sometimes I feel very alone, although I have my cats. I feel like my friends are talking about me behind my back all the time! I'm very content with my current lack of love, but I sometimes worry that my friends aren't. They are all happily married with children. I feel as though I'm left out of everything since I haven't gotten married and had kids. Because of this, I'm thinking of adopting an African baby. Although I feel that I would love this child as much as I love my cats, sometimes I wonder if the only reason I'm considering adopting is to fit in with my friends. What should I do?