Do u remember the time (when we fell in love!)

I logged in this morninga fter a long disclourse from the internet - I have been so busy being the most improtant man on ESPN and on Twitter. You can follow men here: @adamschefter. That is where I put my Brett Favre alerts!

Anyway I acthually logged in because I thought it would be importyant to update everyone on some very important news, more important than me being on ESPN (because it is terrible, do you know how much of a fancy boy LeBron is? Ugh. And they don't even have free donuts, and sometimes expect me to go to CONNECTICUT which is just shit, to be totally fair). Do you remember our SASSIES BOY IN AMERICA contest? We might hold another one because it gets you places: our winner, Max, is now a prominent intellectual on the internet! Please read his work about devils in our society here: http://gawker.com/5587507/horned-man-attempts-to-murder-landlord-with-minivan. And comment on it to make him prouder and more confiendet!

Anywahy that is it, I hope you are all doing well and watching ESPN to see me! Except don't turn it on whn Around the Horn is on - that is the worst thing I've ever seen at all, it is even stupiderr if you witness them doing it in person.

THIS JUST IN: MAX AND GRADY WIN THE SASSY POLL

CONGRATS, GUYS!

see u at the super bowl!!!

HE WHO TASTES ONE KNOWS WHAT IS A REAL SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!1

this week's SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA yaaaaay!!!!1 (scandinavian edition)

Tuomas Lauri Johannes Holopainen (born December 25, 1976, in Kitee, Finland is the keyboardist and main songwriter in the Finnish symphonic metal band Nightwish. He has also played in the bands Nattvindens Gråt and Darkwoods My Betrothed. His current side project is the gothic-doom metal band For My Pain.... He currently plays in the band of Timo Rautiainen.

Holopainen started studying in a music college majoring in clarinet and minoring in piano. He has played various kinds of music, including classical, jazz and metal. He played in several bands, including recording keyboards for three albums with the black metal band Darkwoods My Betrothed, before coming up with the idea for a band of his own, where he would write all the music. That was the birth of Nightwish in July of 1996, around a camp fire. He then asked Emppu Vuorinen and Tarja Turunen to join what then was but an acoustic project. After hearing Turunen's strong voice, Tuomas decided to turn Nightwish into a metal act.

Nightwish's first release, Angels Fall First, came in 1997, but it was in 1998, after the release of Oceanborn, that Holopainen's compositional skills reached full acclaim worldwide. In Century Child, Once and the upcoming album Holopainen began collaborating with symphonic orchestras from Finland and the United Kingdom.

Nightwish released the DVD End of an Era, cointaining their last concert with Tarja Turunen, in Hartwall arena, Helsinki 2005.

The next Nightwish release Dark Passion Play is set for September 2007 with a lead-in single, Eva, released on May 25, 2007, an internet and radio release.

Holopainen is a Disney, J. R. R. Tolkien and Dragonlance fan, with some of his songs containing references to these worlds.

Holopainen have been as a producer of the Silentium's album Sufferion - Hamartia of Prudence (2003).

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!!11!

The Giant Otter, Pteronura brasiliensis, (also known as the river wolf) is the longest of the world's otters, as well as the largest mustelid. It is native to South America but is endangered and is also very rare in captivity. A group of giant otters is called a romp, a bevy, a family, or a raft.

Physical characteristics
The River Wolf can reach up to 6 ft (1.8 m) in length, and weigh up to 76 lb (34 kg). The females are smaller and weigh only 57–60 lb (26–27 kg). It has a lifespan of 12 years in their natural habitat, and 21 years in captivity. Its fur is dense, thick and velvety, and is highly sought after by fur traders. The guard hairs are short, 5/16 in (8 mm) long, twice as long as the under-fur. The fur is water repellent and is a deep chocolate brown in color. A unique white mark is located on the throat that can be used to distinguish between individuals. The head is round and the ears are small. The nose is completely covered in fur, with only the two slit-like nostrils visible. The eyes are large and they have acute vision, an adaptation for hunting underwater. The legs are short and stubby and end in large webbed feet tipped with sharp claws. The River Wolf is well suited for an aquatic life, and can close its ears while underwater. River Wolfs can also close their nostrils when they swim under water. o_O

Feeding ecology
The River Wolf is one of the largest predators of its region, and so can choose from a wide variety of animals to feed on. It feeds mainly on fish, such as catfish, piranha, and perch, but will also feed on crabs, small caimans, and snakes, including small anacondas. It can hunt both in groups and alone, tending to head towards the deeper waters while in groups. It consumes up to 10 lb (4.5 kg) of food each day, using mostly its eyesight to locate its prey. The giant otter has very few natural predators. Caimans and large anacondas prey upon both young and adult otters by ambush. On land jaguars are also a threat to otters when they are in search of more suitable water reserves in the dry season.

Social and reproductive biology
The River Wolf is a highly social animal and lives in extended family groups of between 4-8 members. Group members share roles within the group, structured around the dominant breeding pair. The females have a gestation period of 65-70 days, giving birth to 1-5 young. Mothers give birth in an underground den near the river shore. Otter pups are taught to swim after two months and left to fend for themselves after two to three years. The River Wolf is very sensitive to human activity, and tourists boating too close to a nursing mother can cause her so much stress that she stops producing milk, causing her young to starve. The Giant Otter gives birth annually. The River Wolf is the only species of mustelid that is monogamous.

The Giant Otter is known locally in Guyana as "Lobo del Rio" ("the river wolf") and in Brazil as "Ariranha".

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!!!111!

Secretariat was an American Thoroughbred racehorse considered by many to be the greatest racehorse of all time. Secretariat was affectionately nicknamed "Big Red" by his owner because of his size and brilliant chestnut color, or, perhaps, in an attempt to draw comparisons to the great Man O' War.

Sired by Bold Ruler out of the dam Somethingroyal, Secretariat was born at Meadow Farm in Caroline County, Virginia. Owned by Penny Chenery, he was trained by Canadian Lucien Laurin and ridden by fellow Canadian jockey Ron Turcotte. Secretariat won the 1973 Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes, making him the first Triple Crown winner in a quarter of a century.

The story of Secretariat began with the toss of a coin in 1968 between Christopher Chenery of Meadow Stables and Ogden Phipps of Wheatley Stable. The idea of a coin toss came from Phipps, the owner of Bold Ruler, and Bull Hancock of Claiborne Farms as a way to get the very best mares for Bold Ruler, and when the toss went their way, to add well-bred fillies to their own broodmare band. Bold Ruler was considered one of the important stallions of his time. He had a fine balance between speed and stamina. After his racing career, Bold Ruler was retired to Claiborne Farms but still was controlled by the Phipps family. This meant he would be bred to mainly Phipps' mares and not many of his offspring would find their way to the auction ring. Phipps and Hancock agreed to forgo a stud fee for Bold Ruler in exchange for getting to keep one of two foals produced by the mare he bred in successive seasons or two mares he bred in the same season. Who obtained which foal or even received first pick would be decided by a flip of a coin.

In 1968, Chenery sent two mares named Hasty Matelda and Somethingroyal to Bold Ruler, and in 1969, a colt and filly were the result. In 1969, Hasty Matelda was replaced by Cicada, but she did not conceive. Only one foal resulted between Bold Ruler and Somethingroyal. As stated in the original agreement, the winner of the coin toss could pick the foal he wanted but could only take one, while the loser would get the other two. Both parties assumed Somethingroyal would deliver a healthy foal in the spring of 1970. The coin toss between Penny Chenery and Ogden Phipps was set for the fall of 1969 in the office of New York Racing Association Chairman Alfred Vanderbilt II, with Hancock as witness. As Vanderbilt flipped the coin, Phipps called "Tails!" The coin landed tails up. Phipps decided to take the weanling filly out of Somethingroyal, leaving Chenery with the colt out of Hasty Matelda and the unborn foal of Somethingroyal.

On March 30, just ten minutes past midnight, Somethingroyal foaled a bright red chestnut colt with three white socks and a star with a narrow blaze. Almost immediately, the colt was thought to be too pretty, a title that would haunt him early in his racing career and then earn him fame for his beauty as a Triple Crown winner. By the time the colt was a yearling, he still was without a name. Meadow's secretary, Elizabeth Ham, had submitted ten names to the Jockey Club, and all ten were denied for one reason or another. Approval finally came with the eleventh submission, a name Ham herself picked from a previous career association, Secretariat.

The Kentucky Derby

Nicknamed Big Red (as he was a large chestnut horse like Man O' War, and also because if you don't chew Secretariat, fuck you), he won the Kentucky Derby by gradually moving up on the field in the backstretch, then overtaking rival Sham in the middle of the dash for home. Making Secretariat's Derby win more impressive is that Sham's time of 1:59 4/5 equals Monarchos' 2001 Derby time, the second fastest in history.

A lesser-known but perhaps more amazing accomplishment of his took place in that year's Derby. On his way to a still-standing record time in that race (1:59 2/5), he achieved the unheard-of feat of "negative splitting", running each quarter-mile (402 m) segment faster than the one before it. The successive quarter-mile times were: 25 1/5, 24, 23 4/5, 23 2/5 and 23.

The Preakness Stakes

Secretariat did not wait long to make his presence known in the Preakness. In last place as the horses moved past the stands, Big Red made a big leap forward on the first turn. CBS Television sportscaster Chic Anderson:

But HERE comes Secretariat, he's moving fast, and he's going to the outside — he's going for the lead and it's right NOW he's looking for it!

Despite constant left-handed whipping by jockey Laffit Pincay, Jr., Sham could not overtake Secretariat, who won by two and a half lengths. The main controversy of the race was its time. The infield totalisator board flashed a time of 1:55. The track's electronic timer malfunctioned because of damage from the huge crowd crossing the track to reach the infield. The Pimlico clocker, E.T. McLean Jr., who sheepishly admitted years later that he had in fact delayed clicking his stopwatch accurately as he too was transfixed on Secretariat's amazing performance (Source: Secretariat - Raymond G. Woolfe), had informed them that he had clocked a time of 1:54 2/5, while at the same time two Daily Racing Form clockers claimed the time was 1:53 2/5 which would have been faster than the track record (1:54 by Cañonero II). Two tapes of the horses were played side by side and were reclocked and slowly examined and Secretariat got to the finish line first on tape, though this is not a reliable method of timing a horse race. The Maryland Jockey Club, which managed the Pimlico racetrack and is responsible for maintaining Preakness records, discarded both electronic and The DRF time and recognized 1:54 2/5 as the official time. In some programs, both DRF and official time are printed. The official Preakness record book maintains that the time was 1:54 2/5, and Pimlico officials have chosen not to revisit this issue. In the interim, Tank's Prospect (1985), Louis Quatorze (1996), and Curlin (2007) have all run 1:53 2/5, equalling the time attributed to Secretariat by the Racing Form. Farma Way won the 1991 Pimlico Special in 1:52 2/5, setting the current track record. Oddly enough, Secretariat's stablemate Riva Ridge also ran the same distance in 1:52 2/5 in the 1973 Brooklyn Handicap at Aqueduct, sharing the current American dirt record at that distance with Farma Way. The issue of Secretariat's time in the Preakness may never be finally resolved.

The Belmont Stakes

Only four horses joined Secretariat for the June 9, 1973, running of the Belmont Stakes, including Sham, who had finished second in both the Derby and Preakness. With so few horses in the race, and with Secretariat expected to win, no "show" bets were taken. Before a crowd of 67,605, Secretariat and Sham set a blistering early pace, opening a 10-length cushion on the others. But while Sham faded after the halfway mark (ultimately finishing last), Secretariat astonished spectators by picking up the killing pace — eventually straining the television cameras' wide-angle capability as they struggled to keep the distant challengers in the same frame. Turcotte has said in documentaries that he could sense the horse wanted to be let loose, and he did so, letting the horse shift into "high gear" and run his own race.

In one of the best-known of American sports calls, Anderson — later Belmont Park's track announcer — punctuated Secretariat's powerful move on the final turn of the Belmont this way:

...Secretariat is blazing along! The first three-quarters of a mile in 1:09 and four fifths. Secretariat is widening now! He is moving like a TREMENDOUS machine! Secretariat by 12, Secretariat by 14 lengths on the turn! Sham is dropping back. It looks like they'll catch him today, as My Gallant and Twice a Prince are both coming up to him now. But Secretariat is all alone! He's out there almost a 16th of a mile away from the rest of the horses! Secretariat is in a position that seems impossible to catch. He's into the stretch. Secretariat leads this field by 18 lengths, and now Twice a Prince has taken second and My Gallant has moved back to third. They're in the stretch. Secretariat has opened a 22-length lead! He is going to be the Triple Crown winner! Here comes Secretariat to the wire. An unbelievable, an amazing performance! He hits the finish 25 lengths in front!"

In fact, the champion's winning margin was 31 lengths — a distance it took careful examination of videotape and trackside photographs to measure, although veteran Daily Racing Form trackman Jack Wilson accurately recorded it as Secretariat hit the wire. Secretariat's time of 2 minutes and 24 seconds flat has remained the world record on dirt at that distance; no horse has come within 1 2/5 seconds of the time. During Anderson's call of the stretch run, the CBS camera had to pull back to keep both Big Red and his opponents in the frame, and as a result caught a poignant image in TV sports history — the backs of tens of thousands of cheering Belmont Park spectators cheering and applauding as Secretariat neared the wire. Almost as iconic as the still and video images of Secretariat blowing away the competition was the scene of owner Penny Chenery Tweedy waving her arms in exultation (and relief) in the Belmont owners' boxes. Anderson:

An amazing, unbelievable performance by this miracle horse — and look at Mrs. Tweedy! (laughing) She's having the time of her life!

Secretariat's stride at the finish was so powerful that it took jockey Ron Turcotte nearly two furlongs to pull him up. In fact, after Secretariat galloped out for 1/8 mile after the race his time for 1 and 5/8 miles including the cool down is alleged to be 2 minutes 37.6 seconds, which would have broken a world record set by the great Swaps in 1956 by three lengths. At the mile and 3/8 point, Secretariat had run faster than Man O' War's record from when the Belmont was run at that length. Secretariat's winning margin of 31 lengths in the long and grueling Belmont Stakes is remembered as one of the most dramatic events in thoroughbred racing history. Time Magazine, Newsweek, and Sports Illustrated featured Secretariat on their covers on June 11, 1973, the first to be featured on all three magazines' covers in the same week, though no journalists or racing experts had expected the pure and absolute domination that Secretariat exhibited. If the Beyer Speed Figure calculation had been developed during that time, Andrew Beyer calculated that Secretariat would have earned a figure of 139, one of the highest figures he has ever assigned. [1] Bettors holding 5,617 winning on-course Tote tickets never redeemed them.

Secretariat never duplicated his Belmont Stakes performance, but continued to run impressively after the Triple Crown. He shipped to Chicago and won at Arlington Park, won the inaugural Marlboro Cup against a fantastic field that included 1972 Derby and Belmont winner, Secretariat's stablemate Riva Ridge, top California stakes winner Cougar II, Canadian champion Kennedy Road, and Onion, who had upset Secretariat in the Whitney Handicap at Saratoga. Secretariat stopped the clock in 1:45 2/5 for 1 1/8 miles, at the time, a world record on any surface (according to "railbirds" who claimed to have timed Secretariat galloping past the wire at the track, Secretariat galloped out an extra furlong in 1:57 4/5, which would have broken the world record at that time).

He also won his first start on grass in the Man O' War Handicap in a still standing track record time of 2:24 4/5, without being touched by the whip. Secretariat is claimed to have galloped out an extra furlong in 2:37 4/5, which would have equalled the world record at that distance on any surface (Source: Secretariat, Raymond G. Woolfe Jr.).

But Secretariat did not always fire. However, there were arguably extenuating circumstances for each of those defeats. In his final preparation race for the Kentucky Derby, he had lost to an ordinary horse named Angle Light as well as his nemesis Sham. Secretariat's trainer Lucien Lauren withheld knowledge of a bad abscess on his horse's upper lip from owner Tweedy and jockey Turcotte. (Source: Secretariat - The Making Of A Champion, William Nack). Similarly, after the Triple Crown, he lost to two horses trained by "giant killer" Allen Jerkins (who also beat five-time Horse of the Year, Kelso, with Beau Purple)-- Onion and Prove Out. Trainer Lauren oddly allowed Secretariat to run against Onion in the Whitney even though his horse allegedly had a low grade fever, and entered Secretariat to compete against Prove Out in the Woodward, when he allegedly had inadequate training (1 1/8 mile Marlboro Cup) and was originally being pointed toward the 1973 Man O' War Stakes on grass, thus running 1 1/2 miles much earlier than scheduled.

After three more victories and two second-place finishes in 1973, Secretariat won his last race with another impressive performance. With jockey Ron Turcotte out with a five-day suspension, Eddie Maple rode Secretariat to victory in the Canadian International Stakes on grass and against older horses. He won the race by an impressive 6 1/2 lengths, a tremendous accomplishment on grass where large winning margins are much less common than they are in the Belmont Stakes on dirt.

Altogether, Secretariat won 16 of his 21 career races and finished out of the money just once — in his debut as a 2-year-old, when he was jostled coming out of the gate and finished fourth.

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!!11!

Johnny Blaze, or John Blaze, is a supernatural superhero in the Marvel Comics universe. He is the second Marvel character to use the name Ghost Rider, following the Western hero later known as the Phantom Rider, and preceding Daniel Ketch, the second supernatural Ghost Rider.

Johnny Blaze, a stunt daredevil, was the son of Barton Blaze and Naomi Kale. He spent his early years in the Quentin Carnival where his parents starred in a stunt show with Craig "Crash" Simpson. Blaze's family had ended when his mother abandoned Barton and Johnny and took the family's two children.

Losing his mother caused Blaze to repress many of his memories of her and his siblings. When his father died in a stunt, Blaze was adopted by Crash and Mona Simpson. The Simpsons helped Blaze by fabricating his past with the hope that it would be less painful than the truth. Now believing that his real mother was Clara Blaze, who had died, Blaze became an enthusiastic member of the Simpson clan, growing closer to their daughter, Roxanne. The two soon became inseparable and, as they grew older their fondness for one another moved beyond familiar.

Blaze would eventually join the Simpsons into their own traveling stunt show — the Crash Simpson Stunt Cycle Extravaganza. Crash had become a real father figure in Blaze's eyes, and on learning of Crash's life-threatening cancer, Blaze turned to the occult. His studies led him to a spell which supposedly could summon Satan himself. Johnny was unaware that he in fact had summoned Mephisto. Desperate to save him, Blaze sold his soul to Mephisto in return for Crash's cancer to be cured.

Crash Simpson's cancer was cured, although Crash died soon after in a stunt trying to jump over 22 cars. Blaze, still at the mercy of Mephisto, believed he would lose his soul to Mephisto until he was saved by Roxanne. Roxanne proclaimed her love for Blaze, and drove Mephisto away with the purity of her emotion.

Blaze was unaware that Mephisto had bonded him with the demon Zarathos as an act of revenge for not being able to obtain Johnny's soul for himself. Johnny was transformed into a Ghost Rider, a leather-clad skeleton, his head cloaked in a sheath of flame, the night after Crash's death. Basically, he still had his soul, but he was forced to punish the wicked and evil upon Mephisto's demands whenever needed.

Blaze became a bounty hunter for Mephisto. Whenever he was in the presence of evil he would transform into the Ghost Rider, to exact the devil's revenge, returning the evil to Hell. Blaze was not completely lost in the transformation however, and would also help the innocent when they were in danger.

Eventually, Zarathos would gain control of Johnny Blaze, and the Ghost Rider would become the spirit of Zarathos unleashed. Johnny himself was becoming stronger as well, and the conflicting personalities led to a battle over Blaze's physical body.

Before too long Centurious appeared, stealing Blaze's soul into his soul crystal. Zarathos, weakened from the ordeal used the last of his strength to shatter the crystal, freeing Blaze's soul and many others contained inside of the crystal as well. Before the crystal was reformed, Centurious was absorbed into the crystal. Zarathos followed him into the crystal, freeing Blaze from the curse, restored his soul and ending his time as the Ghost Rider.

He later teamed up with the new Ghost Rider (Daniel Ketch) to form the "Spirits of Vengeance". During this time Blaze would again ride a bike with wheels on fire and would sling a hellfire spitting pump-gun. Their mentor Caretaker would later reveal that they were in fact brothers.

Blaze went back to leading his carnival. Despite it being staffed with many powerful entities, it was nearly destroyed in a demonic attack led by the creature Vengeance. The dead, friend and foe alike, were taken by government forces to be disected. Blaze, with the help of living, and dead, friends, breaks into the facillity and destroys all the bodies.

A later confrontation with the forces of evil would lead to Roxeanne's death. Blaze would later hunt down the demons responsible for her death and kill them all.

Starting over, Blaze eventually found a new job as an accountant and a new girlfriend, Chloe. Though free from the curse and with his soul back, Johnny would eventually transform back into Ghost Rider since Zarathos never really left him and had been reconstituting himself from within Blaze.

Johnny Blaze soon found himself constantly pursued by demons of Hell, intent on forcing him to make good on the demonic pact he had made. It was all that the Ghost Rider could do to out-run the evil, but it wasn't enough. Eventually, Johnny was captured and taken to Hell. ;_;

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!!1

Dan Perry
Communications Specialist

Date of Birth: October 15, 1958
Place of Birth: Savannah GA
Residence: Bradford VT
Marital Status: Married
Wife: Anita
Children: Angela, Julie, Valerie, Daniel IV
Hobbies: Racing, golf, radio communications
Years Racing: 16
Years in Busch East: 14
Favorite Little Tree® air freshener: Vanillaroma®

Working for several years as Mike Olsen’s spotter, Dan Perry is the expert in updating and maintaining the team’s radio communications equipment.

Even though he’s a busy father of four, a volunteer fireman, a town water commissioner and the owner of three laundromats, Perry rarely misses a race. :D

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!

The letter Q is the seventeenth letter in the Latin alphabet. Its name in English is cue, occasionally spelled cu (both pronounced /kju/).

History
The Semitic sound value of Qôp (perhaps originally qaw cord of wool, and possibly based on an Egyptian hieroglyph) was /q/ (voiceless uvular plosive), a sound common to Semitic languages, but not found in English or most Indo-European ones. In Greek, this sign as Qoppa probably came to represent several labialized velar plosives, among them /k/ and /k~/. As a result of later sound shifts, these sounds in Greek changed to /p/ and /p~/ respectively. Therefore, Qoppa was transformed into two letters: Qoppa, which stood for a number only, and Phi Φ which stood for the aspirated sound /p~/ that came to be pronounced /f/ in Modern Greek. The Etruscans used Q only in conjunction with V to represent /k~/.

Usage
In most modern western languages written in Latin script, such as in Romance and Germanic languages, Q appears almost exclusively in the digraph QU, though see Q without U. In English this digraph most often denotes the cluster /kw/, except in borrowings from French where it represents /k/ as in plaque. In Italian qu represents [kw] (where [w] is an allophone of /u/); in German, /kv/; and in French, Portuguese, Occitan, Spanish, and Catalan, /k/. (In Spanish, Portuguese, Catalan, Occitan and French, qu replaces c for /k/ before front vowels i and e, since in those contexts c is a fricative and letter 'k' is seldom used outside loan words.) In Albanian, q represents the voiceless palatal plosive, /c/. In the Aymara, Azeri, Uzbek, Quechua, and Tatar languages, Q is a voiceless uvular plosive. [q] is also used in IPA for the voiceless uvular plosive, as well as in most transliteration schemes of Semitic languages for the "emphatic" qōp sound.

In Maltese and Võro, Q denotes the glottal stop.

In Chinese Hanyu Pinyin, Q is used to represent the sound [t~], which is close to English "ch" in "cheese".

Q is rarely seen in a word without a U next to it, thus making it the second most rarely used letter in the English language.

The lowercase Q is usually written as a lowercase O with a line below it, with or without a "tail". It is usually typed without due to the major difference between the tails of the lowercase G and lowercase Q. It is usually written with the tail to distinguish from the G. Unlike the written lowercase G, which has a leftward facing tail, the Q's tail faces right. An example of the lowercase Q written from a keyboard is a "q".

Trivia
* Q is the only letter that does not appear in any US state name
* People connected to an IRC-network with usermode +q are immune to bans, kicks and akicks.
* Q is a fan of the state of Virginia.

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!!!

Morbius the Living Vampire (Michael Morbius) is a fictional character in the Marvel Comics universe, intended as a tragic anti-hero with vampire-like powers that actually had a biochemical origin. Self-tormented over his nature but wanting to live, he has appeared as both a villain and an ally in various Spider-Man titles, in Spider-Man: The Animated Series, and in his own self-titled comic book.

Morbius was created in large part because Marvel Comics Editor-in-Chief Stan Lee wanted to launch an indirect challenge on the ban by the Comics Code Authority on vampires. Working with writer Roy Thomas and artist Gil Kane, they created Morbius, a living man who is given vampiric abilities via scientific means, and not the supernatural ones prohibited by the Code. Kane was instructed to specifically avoid Gothic fashion elements and design a costume for Morbius that was akin to what any other Marvel supervillain would wear, and he specifically chose the red and blue primary colors which were the staple of characters from Spider-Man to Superman.

In part because of the success of Morbius, the Comic Code was liberalized on the subject of vampires and other horror characters several months later, allowing Marvel and other publishers to use actual vampires such as Dracula.

Morbius first appeared in Amazing Spider-Man #101 (Oct, 1971), in which he is attacked by the Lizard and defeated when Spider-Man and the Lizard join forces. A flashback in Amazing Spider-Man #102 reveals that Morbius was actually a Nobel prize-winning biochemist, who had attempted to cure himself of a rare blood disease with an experimental treatment involving vampire bats and electroshock therapy. However, he instead became afflicted with a far worse condition that mimicked the powers and bloodthirst of legendary vampirism. Morbius now had to digest blood in order to survive and had a strong aversion to light. He gained the ability to fly, as well as superhuman strength and healing abilities. His appearance became hideous—his canine teeth extended into fangs, his nose flattened to appear more like a bat's, and his skin became chalk-white. He also gained the ability to turn others into similar "living vampires" by biting them. Though he managed at one point to cure himself of his pseudo-vampirism, he eventually reverted back to his altered form.

He gained his own series with Adventure into Fear #20 in 1975, and was the lead feature of that title for the rest of its thirty-one issue run.

He later received his own self-titled comic book series (as well as somewhat of a costume update) in 1992 as part of the "Rise of the Midnight Sons" crossover event between Marvel's supernatural/horror themed comics. These later stories add to his repertoire of powers the ability to hypnotize others and describe his ability to fly as also psionic in nature.

In the first issue, Ghost Rider and John Blaze search for Morbius to form The Nine and stop Lilith and the Lilin from taking over the world. When they found Morbius, the vampire believed they would kill him but Ghost Rider and John Blaze successfully captured him. Dr. Langford, who tried to help Morbius's wounds, was actually trying to kill him and was working for Dr. Paine. He made a serum that would prove fatal to Morbius, but unknown to Dr. Langford, Fang, one of Lilith's children was also trying to kill Morbius by adding his own demonic blood to the serum, which would also be fatal to Morbius. When Dr. Langford injected the serum to Morbius, it did not kill him, but instead mutated him. Morbius's friend, Jacob was trying to look inside of him and see what he could do about Morbius's condition. After Martine, Morbius's wife, found out Langford was trying to kill him, Langford shot her and she bled to death. Morbius found this out and was enraged to find his wife dead. He later killed Langford and took the beaker which contained the serum. Ghost Rider and John Blaze later found out Morbius's destruction. Ghost Rider confronted him and would not tolerate Morbius drinking anymore innocent blood. Morbius then vowed he would only drink the blood of the guilty. Ghost Rider accepted the vow, but warned him not to stray from it. Morbius soon became part of The Midnight Sons.

Later, a new faction of Vampires led by Hunger, the next evolution of the supervillain Crown, tried to destroy Morbius because he had been genetically manipulated to be the perfect weapon. The chest he was to be delivered in was intercepted by the Kingpin, Blade, and Spider-Man, and he attacked all three. Unfortunately, whatever unknown party manipulated him failed; he collapsed after one battle, possibly dying. With his last breath he warned Spider-Man to beware of his employer, Stuart Ward.

Most recently Morbius appeared in issue #5 of the newest Blade series; there it was revealed that Morbius had signed the Superhuman Registration Act and was cooperating with S.H.I.E.L.D. forces in an effort to capture Blade. He had also presumably survived his Genetic Manipulation, as Blade was able distinguish him as the same Morbius who 'Took a Bite out of [him]' in their previous encounter.

Morbius was first introduced as a villain in the pages of Amazing Spider-Man. He would return to battle Spider-Man over the years in the pages of Marvel Team-Up Vol.1 #3-4, Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #6-8 and #38, Morbius the Living Vampire #3-4 and #21-23, and later in Peter Parker, Spider-Man Vol.1 #77-80 and Vol.2 #8.

Spider-Man and Morbius formed an uneasy alliance during the Maximum Carnage crossover series.

Blade (comics) the Vampire Hunter and Morbius have had an on-going feud which began in Adventure into Fear #24. The two also clashed in Marvel Preview #8, Blade the Vampire Hunter #8, Blade Vol.1 #2-3, and Blade Vol.4 #5. Blade, while possessed by a demonic presence, killed Morbius in Morbius the Living Vampire #12, but Morbius was resurrected in Spirits of Vengeance #13.

Simon Stroud, a rogue CIA agent first introduced in the pages of Creatures on the Loose, has been hunting Morbius since Adventure into Fear #27. Stroud and Morbius last clashed in Morbius the Living Vampire #23.

During the run of Morbius the Living Vampire, Morbius crossed paths with a handful of brand new foes. They included: Vic Slaughter (introduced in issue #7), the Basilisk (introduced in issue #5), Dr. Paine (introduced in issue #4), and Bloodthirst (first seen in issue #20). During this same period, Morbius also battled a new villain called Bloodbath in Midnight Sons Unlimited #2.

Morbius has had a friendship with Jack Russell (Werewolf by Night) since West Coast Avengers #5, where Morbius helped Russell deal with his werewolf curse. Werewolf by Night was a frequent guest-star in the pages of Morbius the Living Vampire. Together with Man-Thing and Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze) they formed the Legion of Monsters.

Morbius and Doctor Strange have teamed-up on several occasions. Morbius appeared sporadically throughout the run of Doctor Strange: Sorcerer Supreme, beginning with issue #10.

Michael Morbius possesses a variety of superhuman powers, some of which are similar to supernatural vampires within the Marvel Universe.

Morbius possesses an accelerated healing factor and can recover from mild to moderate injuries at a rate beyond that of ordinary humans. While not nearly as efficient as the healing powers possessed by the X-Man Wolverine, Morbius has proven able to heal from multiple gunshot wounds in less than an hour. More severe injuries, such as broken bones or severe burns, might take several days to heal, but once was shown to take minutes even though it left him as a near-mindless creature who must feed to replenish the energy that was used to do so. He is unable to regenerate missing limbs or organs, but Slaughter, another living vampire, has shown that a living vampire can reattach cut off parts of their body and survive a beheading if they have gained enough vitality from blood consumption.

Due to his vampire-like condition, Morbius is forced to ingest fresh blood on a regular basis to maintain his life and vitality. How much blood he requires and how often he must feed has not been specified in the comics.

Most of Morbius's victims die or are severely injured by his bite. Unlike supernatural vampires, Morbius's victims do not necessarily become vampires themselves. There have only been two instances where Morbius's bite has turned other individuals into vampires: Emilio (a young man first shown in Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #7), and Vic Slaughter (a bounty hunter who first appeared in Morbius the Living Vampire #7). The causes behind these transformations have never been clearly explained.

One interesting fact concerns the blood of Spider-Man. Apparently, the irradiated blood of the wall-crawler has a kind of reverse-effect on Morbius, causing his vampirism to go into remission. As a result, after drinking Spider-Man's blood, Morbius does not need to feed again for some time. Morbius once developed a serum based on Spider-Man's blood (in Morbius the Living Vampire #5) which would stave off his vampirism for short periods of time.

Morbius possesses the ability of flight or levitation, navigating wind currents and gliding for various distances. In Morbius the Living Vampire #2, it was alluded to that this ability may be related to hyper-evolved portions of his brain caused by a combination of his blood disease and vampiric condition.

Morbius does not possess any of the mystical vulnerabilities that supernatural vampires are subject to, such as to garlic, holy water or silver. He is sensitive to sunlight, thanks to his photo-sensitive skin which prevents any protection from major sun burn, in contrast to "true" vampires that are incinerated by it. Morbius also lacks the shapeshifting and weather control powers of vampires, and the ability to control animals.

While briefly infected by the demon Bloodthirst, Morbius gained the ability to liquidize his body, moving through small spaces and stretching his limbs as needed. He lost these abilities when he and Bloodthirst split (Morbius the Living Vampire #20).

Like "true" vampires, Morbius does possess the ability to hypnotize others and bring them under his control, which can only be resisted by those possessing an extremely strong will.

See also Ultimate Morbius.

THIS WEEK'S SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!!

John Towner Williams (born February 8, 1932) is an American composer and conductor. In a career that spans six decades, Williams has composed many of the most famous film scores in history, including those for Jaws, Star Wars, Superman, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jurassic Park, Schindler's List, Hook and Harry Potter. In addition, he has composed theme music for four Olympic Games, numerous television series and concert pieces. He served as the principal conductor of the Boston Pops Orchestra from 1980 to 1993, and is now the orchestra's laureate conductor.

Williams is a five-time winner of the Academy Award, and his 45 nominations to date make him joint second-most nominated individual with fellow composer Alfred Newman (only Walt Disney had more). He was a recipient of the Kennedy Center Honors in 2004.

John Williams was born on February 8, 1932 in Long Island, New York, USA. In 1948, he moved with his family to Los Angeles, where he attended North Hollywood High School. He later attended the University of California, Los Angeles and Los Angeles City College, and studied privately with composer Mario Castelnuovo-Tedesco. In 1952, Williams was drafted into the United States Air Force, where he conducted and arranged music for the Air Force Band as part of his duties.

After his service ended in 1954, Williams returned to New York City and entered Juilliard School, where he studied piano with Rosina Lhévinne. During this time he also worked as a jazz pianist at New York's many studios and clubs. He had played with composer Henry Mancini, and performed on the recording of the Peter Gunn theme. He was known as "Johnny" Williams in the early 1960s, and served as arranger and bandleader on a series of popular albums with singer Frankie Laine.

Williams was married to actress Barbara Ruick from 1956 until her death on March 3, 1974. They had three children together. One of those children is Joseph Williams, former lead singer for the band Toto. He married for a second time on June 9, 1980 to his current wife, Samantha Winslow. Williams is a member of Kappa Kappa Psi, the national honorary fraternity for college band members.

After his studies at Juilliard, Williams returned to Los Angeles and began working as an orchestrator in film studios. Among others, he had worked with composers Franz Waxman, Bernard Herrmann and Alfred Newman. He was also a studio pianist, performing in scores by composers such as Jerry Goldsmith and Elmer Bernstein. Williams began to compose scores for television series in the late 1950s, eventually leading to Lost in Space and The Time Tunnel.

Williams's first major film composition was for the B-movie Daddy-O in 1958, and his first screen credit came two years later in Because They're Young. He soon gained notice in Hollywood for his versatility in composing jazz, piano and symphonic music. He received his first Academy Award nomination for his score to the 1967 film Valley of the Dolls, and was nominated again in 1969 for Goodbye, Mr. Chips. He won his first Academy Award for his adapted score to the 1971 film Fiddler on the Roof. By the early 1970s, Williams had established himself as a composer for large-scale disaster films, with scores for The Poseidon Adventure, Earthquake and The Towering Inferno (the last two films, scored in 1974, borrowing musical cues from each other).

In 1974, Williams was approached by Steven Spielberg to write the music for his feature directoral debut, The Sugarland Express. The young director was impressed by Williams's score to the 1969 film The Reivers, and was convinced the composer could provide the sound he desired for his films. They re-teamed a year later for the director's second film, Jaws. Widely considered a classic suspense piece, the score's ominous two-note motif has become nearly synonymous with sharks and approaching danger. The score earned Williams a second Academy Award, his first for an original composition.

Shortly afterwards, Williams and Spielberg began preparing for their next feature film, Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Unusual for a Hollywood production, Spielberg's script and Williams's musical concepts were developed at the same time and were closely linked. During the two-year creative collaboration, they settled on a distinctive five-note motif that functioned both as background music and the communication signal of the film's alien mothership. Close Encounters of the Third Kind was released in 1977.

In the same period, Spielberg recommended Williams to his friend and fellow director George Lucas, who needed a composer to score his ambitious space epic, Star Wars. Williams produced a grand symphonic score in the fashion of Richard Strauss and Golden Age Hollywood composers Erich Wolfgang Korngold and Max Steiner. Its main theme is among the most widely-recognized in motion picture history, and the Force Theme and Princess Leia's Theme are also well-known examples of leitmotif. The film and its soundtrack were both immensely successful, and Williams won another Academy Award for Best Original Score. In 1980, Williams returned to score The Empire Strikes Back, where he famously introduces The Imperial March as the theme for Darth Vader and the Galactic Empire. The original Star Wars trilogy concluded with the 1983 film Return of the Jedi, for which Williams's score provides the Emperor's Theme.

Williams worked with director Richard Donner to score the 1978 film Superman. The score's heroic and romantic themes, particularly the main march, the Superman fanfare and the love theme (known as "Can You Read My Mind"), would appear in the four subsequent sequel films.

For the 1981 film Raiders of the Lost Ark, Williams wrote a rousing main theme known as The Raiders' March to accompany the film's hero, Indiana Jones. He also composed separate themes to represent the Ark of the Covenant, the character Marion and the Nazi villains of the story. Additional themes were featured in his scores to the sequel films Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

Williams composed an emotional and sensitive score to Spielberg's 1982 fantasy film E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. The music conveys the film's benign, child-like sense of innocence, particularly with a spirited theme for the freedom of flight, and a soft string-based theme for the friendship between characters E.T. and Elliott. The film's final chase and farewell sequence marks a rare instance in film history, in which the on-screen action is edited to conform to the composer's musical interpretation. Williams was awarded a fourth Academy Award for this score.

The 1985 film The Color Purple is the only feature film directed by Steven Spielberg for which John Williams did not serve as composer. The film's producer, Quincy Jones, wanted to personally arrange and compose the music for the project. Williams also did not score Twilight Zone: The Movie, but Spielberg had directed only one of the four segments in that film. The film's music was written by another veteran Hollywood composer, Jerry Goldsmith. The Williams-Spielberg collaboration resumed with the director's 1987 film Empire of the Sun.

While skilled in a variety of twentieth-century compositional idioms, his most familiar style may be described as a form of neoromanticism, inspired by the large-scale orchestral music of the late 19th century, especially Wagnerian music and leitmotif, and that of Williams's film-composing predecessors. He was inducted to the Hollywood Bowl Hall of Fame.

new weekly feature: SASSIEST BOY IN AMERICA!

Ian F. Svenonius is the singer of various influential music groups, including The Nation of Ulysses, The Make-Up, and currently Weird War. These groups have all been based in Washington, D.C.

Svenonius is also the author of the book The Psychic Soviet.

Ian Svenonius' first musical formation was The Nation of Ulysses. This was not a rock 'n' roll group in the normal sense, but "the group as political party."

Nation of Ulysses consisted of Svenonius on vocals, Steve Kroner on guitar, Steve Gamboa on bass guitar, and James Canty on drums. Tim Green joined the band late in 1989 as a guitarist.

The Nation of Ulysses philosophy has been described as "a relentlessly provocative (and entertaining) jumble of teenage rock 'n' roll rebellion, leftist radicalism, anarchist punk polemics, and abstract intellectual rambling," which gives the sense of "an off-kilter, almost tongue-in-cheek approach to a 'perpetual 18-year old's' view of America, and life in general." They conceived themselves as being a political party disguised as a rock 'n' roll band.

The Nation of Ulysses distributed political pamphlets, called "Ulysses Speaks," which they distributed at live shows, some of which are reproduced on their album covers. Their pamphlets espoused what they referred to as "The Ulysses Aesthetic," which was a mix of 60's and 70's radical politics, French Situationist writings, and celebration of juvenile delinquency.

The band was known for their extremely physical performances, with incidents of broken bones and other injuries suffered by the members. They usually wore suits and greased hair on stage, although they sometimes wore matching shirts and pants of a more casual nature.

Svenonius described the Nation of Ulysses as "a shout of secession. We don't want to be involved with the United States and the structure that exists. We've introduced a whole new form of currency that takes its form in garbage ... we indulge peoples' repressed whims and make them banal in doing so. We basically want to create a new sense of who we are community-wise: a nation of youths."

Nation of Ulysses disbanded in the Fall of 1992 having failed to complete their third album (the finished tracks were later released as The Embassy Tapes in 2000). In a later interview, Svenonius explained the reason for the split: "Nation of Ulysses broke up because the epoch changed with the advent of digital music and the Nirvana explosion. We were faced with what's now known as indie rock, a sort of vacuous form. We had to determine our next move and this (the forming of The Make-Up) is it."

The Make-Up formed in 1995, consisting of Svenonius, Canty, and Gamboa from Nation of Ulysses, and Michelle Mae from the Northwest group The Frumpies on bass guitar. Alex Minoff joined the band in late 1999 on guitars.

Make-Up combined garage rock, soul, and self-styled liberation theology to make a new genre they called "Gospel Yeh-Yeh." They released three studio LPs, three live LPs, and a compilation of singles and B-sides.

The Make-Up always wore matching uniforms on stage which they commissioned mostly from a company called Baby-Teeth. There were at least a dozen distinct uniforms during the group's existence, in a variety of colors and styles. When asked if wearing these uniforms was an ideological statement, Svenonius explained: "Of course it is. The way we look onstage is to minimize this association with our individual personalities, to exhalt the higher ideology and the meaning of the band."

While The Make-Up released both "live" and "studio" records, all were created with an eye toward spontaneity. Most studio songs were cut as they occurred to the group at the moment. Therefore, their studio records themselves were in a sense, quite "live." Make-Up were highly influenced also by bubblegum music, particularly the French variety called Yé-yé music. The factory style of production that this sort of music had utilized interested the group, who were dedicated to expanding the workforce as opposed to the rock 'n' roll trend (begun by The Beatles) toward self sufficiency and "downsizing" labour. Through the synthessis of these two highly disparate and contradictory forms - Gospel and Yé-yé - The Make-Up devised a hybrid style they labeled "Gospel Yeh-yeh."

Due to The Make-Up's consideration of their audience and the special techniques they applied to performing, their live shows were legendary and became the much-copied convergence of soul, surf, skronk, and stomp. The Make-Up's expansive gospel attitude was related to their utilization of the "congregate" or audience as a group member.

The Make-Up dissolved in 2001, reportedly "due to the large number of counter-gang copy groups which had appropriated their look and sound and applied it to a vacuous and counter-revolutionary forms."

In 2001 Svenonius collaborated with the English conceptualist/producer Mike Alway of If Records to create the record Play Power under the pseudonym "David Candy." It was released through Jet Set Records, Siesta Records, and If Records. Play Power was part of a series of "Magazine-Style Records" which included other imaginary acts such as Death by Chocolate, Maria Napoleon, and Lollipop Train.

In 1993, Svenonius and Nation of Ulysses/Make-Up members James Canty and Steve Gamboa were involved in a short lived aggregate called "Cupid Car Club." This group released only one EP on Kill Rock Stars Records entitled Join our Club.

Svenonius is a vegan.

Svenonius is friends with Momus: