Pennsylvania FACTS:

Prior to William Penn's climactic battle against Pitt the Younger at the Meeting of the Three Rivers, the Pennsylvania Commonwealth was a rugged land, dangerously overrun with untamed FUPAs. The FUPA population was simply gigantic. FUPA herds were regularly found in empty lots and basements as far west as Illinois. When FUPAs were discovered hanging around the outskirts of Baltimore, President Polk cried out, "Fifty-Four Forty and Eight!" His council of numerologists immediately scryed the meaning: the FUPAs were to be stopped. After two years of concerted spellweaving and secret bloody battle, the president's geographimancers at last fixed the FUPAs' northward boundary to the 49th parallel. With the FUPAs' back to the dangerous rapids of the Delaware River, the government would continue long after Polk's death to push the FUPAs into their current boundaries, where they seethe now, perpetually covered in a dark haze of salty body odor, ever dreaming of conquest.

FACT!