Monday, May 21, 2007

i've made love to hookers that i didn't love. it’s just a matter of going slower and whispering a lot of bullshit.

I am not anti-Southern girl. I am anti-”have Buckwheat in a leg-lock” girl.

I love the south and really enjoy southern girls company. However when it comes to the bedroom they are woefully lacking and I am calling attention to it.


The worst line I ever heard was from a girl from GA. After saying she wasn’t going home with me (we went to her house) and that she wasn’t sleeping with me (as we walked to her room) and that she wasn’t getting naked with me (as she completely undressed and got in bed with me) the best line was the finale which follows:

Her: What time is it?

Me: Like 3am

Her: I have to wake up tomorrow

Me: Ok

Her: So you have 20 mins.

Me: 20 mins?

Her: To make the magic happen. (As she straddles me)

Needless to say she got her magic show, but I also saw what looked like the Congo between her legs. After a klassy line like that and the lack of wo-manscaping down below she has been put in my “do not touch” book.

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